hanges.... i have specially used it for the situations... facts... at this point of time am here to write another post just coz of transitions... which is along with uncertainity... am not gonna talk about ki kya ho raha hai ,kya hona chahiye but in this post i wana speakout ki jo ho raha hai what does it make me feel...vese toa mei isski liknk kisi ko nahi bhej rahi hu , but agar koi pade toa yeh warning bhi pad le :MY WRITING IN THIS POST DOES NOT INTEND TO HURT ANY1 .. IF U FEEL SO I CNT BE APOLOGETIC.. .. and guys please the sequence of ur names has no relations with the importance criteria...
i have always bin a less friend girl.. never made many .. aur iss baat ke liye kai bar regret bhi feel kiya... but aaj jab dekhti hu toa soachti hu i have few and the r so precious..i think kaam hoke unhe special bana is a profitable deal... LOL was the only one i had here..physically present but vo angle bhi kuch alag hi nikal gaya... kuch unexpected... kuch unwanted .. but as i said transition ,its important coz now i feel the seriousness about my presence ,about my family people around connected with me .. i dont blame any1 for it , nor did i regret the things done.. am just doing it .. but frndhp is ... anyw
supi ... yaar tere saath mera time kaise aur kaha kaha , kin situations mei nikala... tere saath do life dekhi mene ..ek meri , ek teri... chahe kitni bhi communication chuta.. kitni bhi log aaye gai..indian goverment ki vajah se kitni hi baar hum months tak nahi baat kar paye... mil paye... par hume ek dusre ki jarurat kabhi kam nahi lagi... shayad tujhe lagi ho ..par mujhe nahi.. tu durr gai ,mei yahi thi.. tu pass aai, mei yahi ... mei mushquilo mei hu ..tu wahi hai... mei khush rahungi ...tu wahi hongi..
hum inn cheezo mei kaafi persistent hai.. hehe....
log ya toa support karte hai ya nahi karte .. but kuch hi log khuko uss situation mei khud ko rakh ke soachte hai..
another frnd jisne saath diya tapas... aajkal kaafi khud hi loaded hai .. few un-wanted complication.. hamari tunning ko toa effect nahi karega yeh sab but timely kuch slowness aagai hai .. i cnt blame him too ..but i cnt blame anyway vese... theek hai another transition... :P...
infact jo bhi cheezei chal rahi hai they all r such ki kisi ko bhi blame karne mei am helpless... i dnt want to ..dont have too... and thats what is killing me...
its easier when things cud be blamed on sm1... hehe...
transition is somthing un avoidable.. unwanted...but very much between us...among us... i feel helpless at times.. confused ... guilty ... and thni feel small... i feel common... i feel responsible.. logical.. different , hurtful.. and the list can go on ... all this coz of transitions... changes....
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
beloved 2009....
with so many things happening around, ending 2009 in this manner was never expected .. i had this long awaited Holiday of mine in the ending days of 2009... i saw the most awesome movie of the year in those ending days.. i felt the most terrible insecurity about my professional life in those ending days... . . .
all these things which i felt in those days, and feeling still continues in some matters, i realised was always there ... along ,whole year.. but as in scientific words " human nature " gave me freedom to ignore them and handle them when it comes...
the movie surely tells u to not o worry for life ahead but enjoy the presence ... heelllllooooo....rembr its a movie.. and the very reason people are crazy about it , coz somehwhere down the line .. they always have and still do want ,there life with the tag...: future se kya darna , aaj ko enjoy karo . but we cnt........ oki i think that's more of psychological talks....
with NO SIGNAL line on my phone for 4 days.... i realised the need of mine for the wireless... but the very 1.5 days latter , it clicked , it was not those wireless company connection i was missing , but the people with whom they connect me..effortlessly...
and than again a complicated feeling : i like to miss them , and being missed ! yes .. yes i do ! their voice when i gave them a call the moment i got my phone saying "IDEA" , was very awesome....
i loved those snowy nights , -14 degree temperature survival techs, flow of adrenaline in our head coz of some nasty people... bin the most big eye girl among the monks..[ i think they enjoyed watching me more thn i do ..they envy me for my eyes.. ] but the moment of those 5 mint of call from inside the plane ,resting on an airport on west Bengal.. gave me all the contentment needed...
i dont like coming back here... as for now... am being greedy i know... but i really wana have more.. although LOL tells me , more of absence makes u get forgotten too... he always put up lines to scare me , it never works ...!
22 jan , i hope my life sees a new turn after that... am getting into professional shoes now... n as for now i feel ... they r not my size .! but i will get one ,soner or latter , of my size, my choice and fitting... :P
so in the middle of getting use to write 2010 , feel the professional sense , fighting for attention... i hear by announce 2009 as another best year for me... and welcome 2010 with more adventure in life.... my skeptical mind portion says it this way -
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right....!! :))
all these things which i felt in those days, and feeling still continues in some matters, i realised was always there ... along ,whole year.. but as in scientific words " human nature " gave me freedom to ignore them and handle them when it comes...
the movie surely tells u to not o worry for life ahead but enjoy the presence ... heelllllooooo....rembr its a movie.. and the very reason people are crazy about it , coz somehwhere down the line .. they always have and still do want ,there life with the tag...: future se kya darna , aaj ko enjoy karo . but we cnt........ oki i think that's more of psychological talks....
with NO SIGNAL line on my phone for 4 days.... i realised the need of mine for the wireless... but the very 1.5 days latter , it clicked , it was not those wireless company connection i was missing , but the people with whom they connect me..effortlessly...
and than again a complicated feeling : i like to miss them , and being missed ! yes .. yes i do ! their voice when i gave them a call the moment i got my phone saying "IDEA" , was very awesome....
i loved those snowy nights , -14 degree temperature survival techs, flow of adrenaline in our head coz of some nasty people... bin the most big eye girl among the monks..[ i think they enjoyed watching me more thn i do ..they envy me for my eyes.. ] but the moment of those 5 mint of call from inside the plane ,resting on an airport on west Bengal.. gave me all the contentment needed...
i dont like coming back here... as for now... am being greedy i know... but i really wana have more.. although LOL tells me , more of absence makes u get forgotten too... he always put up lines to scare me , it never works ...!
22 jan , i hope my life sees a new turn after that... am getting into professional shoes now... n as for now i feel ... they r not my size .! but i will get one ,soner or latter , of my size, my choice and fitting... :P
so in the middle of getting use to write 2010 , feel the professional sense , fighting for attention... i hear by announce 2009 as another best year for me... and welcome 2010 with more adventure in life.... my skeptical mind portion says it this way -
Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right....!! :))
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